Face it! Deal with it! Heal...The only truly liberating way out of hurt

Moments, hours, days, weeks...of grief. Its awfully sad that we all have to get our share of grief, no escape, no excuses- Grief spares No one. Sometimes it strikes for genuine reasons and now I know that it can even strike for pathetically meager reasons or even no particular reason at all! You think I am making it up? Trust me I know living examples! It can pass by without much harm or it could stick around for a while but sadly, it could even hang around for long!
 I am not foreign to that five letter word too. I have had some of it for very genuine reasons while I admit that some were for shamefully naive reasons! I S*ck at dealing with it!
So, lately whatever I see or listen to I just realized that my mind seems to naturally take in, savour, admire and record how people deal with problems in the most sensible, healing and liberating ways. And this, my friends is why I am brimming with words to pour into this page today, in the hope that somewhere out there, someone would find this helpful :)

#1 It's your life, make it large!

After being abusively accused of being a boring wife and an incompetent mother, Nirupama is almost dumped by her husband and daughter who fly away to have a better life abroad. She is left with sinking self-esteem and the ache of  having a broken family. Looking after that very same family was her only concern in life for years and without that anchor she was like a rudderless boat. Like an angel, an old friend comes and reminds her of what a Tigress she was back in college. 

Nirupama soon grabs an opportunity to do something significant. Once into it, there was no stopping her. Even when her husband pops in randomly to take her with him, she sticks to her commitments. 

In the end she makes it big! Once she saw what she was truly capable of, she found ways to be happier that she would never have if not for the troubling times. Her strong self esteem, her success and energy made everything fall into place, even her family :)

--The movie- How Old Are You

#2 While you nurse yours, heal someone else's wounds

Divya is stuck in wedlock with a man who isn't interested in her, barely talks to her and stays aloof all the time. They stay like room mates and live like strangers. All of this seem to eat her up. Soon she discovers the reason for her husband's behavior-  A failed love life. When it becomes obvious that she has no place whatsoever in his heart or life, she leaves. Soon she discovers that her husband's lover had actually been killed in an accident and that her family held him responsible. The guilt and the grief is what made the once happy go lucky adventurous man into the glum boring one she knew.

 Without any expectations or any flowery words she comes back to stay with him-once again just like a room mate. She nurses her loneliness and hurt by spending time with her cousins and enrolling in a college for her post graduation. While at it, she constantly visits the family of her husband's lover claiming that she was her friend. Once the right time comes, she confesses to them about who she really is. She brings her husband to them and simply lets both parties talk and reconcile. 

Her silents gestures, her thoughtfulness and the extent to which she had gone to help him was more than enough for her husband to fall in love with her, truly and deeply. Their healed wounds sealed them together into a fulfilling relationship .

--The movie Bangalore Days

#3 Go on a honeymoon with yourself

Story-1

Eva's mother and later, sister commit suicide. She discovers that she is a stolen baby and to top it all survives a fire set by her step father. All she has is a strong supporting loving man and a few friends on her side. In spite of them she finds that she no longer has anything in her to give to them except her silence and mood swings. She realizes that she cannot give others any happiness since she seemed to have ran out of it herself.
So she packs up her bag and leaves to Europe all on her own. She badly wanted to take her lover along, but that would mean taking the same issues along. So she embarks on the journey to unknown lands, unknown people and unknown languages. All these unknowns seemed to be blessings for her as all of those gave her the solitude she craved for.
She writes down her feelings every night and slowly sees the changes come in herself. She sees herself heal slowly. She sees herself striking conversations, making friends and having fun.
In the end she decides to go back home to all those same people and memories to prove to herself that the bad times are over and that she has lived through it. All those reminders back home didn't matter anymore.
Her lover and friends stick by her, as they truly did understand her

-- The book- Forgive Me

Story 2-

Rani's fiancee who has been her boyfriend for years, calls off their wedding the day before; saying she is not his type anymore. Day and night she spends her time shut in her room and sleeps crumbled into a ball. And then all of a sudden she decides to break free. What if the wedding got cancelled, she could still go for the honeymoon she had saved and planned for. She sets off for the life changing trip. She finds happiness among new friends and new people. All those experiences good and bad that come with the all-on-your-own trips let her spirits free. 

--The movie-Queen  

In all these cases these heroes could have slipped into a black hole of sorrow . They could have easily popped some pills and be chained to them and their side effects for years. (Not that such cases never require pills, which they do when one has gone far downhill) Worse, they could have  ended their life only to miss out on the happier days that were probably days or moments away. But they chose to fight. They chose to make something good come out of all the hurt and all the bad in and around them. 

Before you weave a world of self pity around you...
Before you pop a pill...
Before you take your life...
Give yourself a chance...
A chance to defeat your sorrows 
A chance to heal
A chance to discover
A chance to fall in love...with Yourself

Believe with all your heart and soul that all will pass...and you will be better sooner or later.

Writing this out seems to have given me clarity and more importantly the hope that, when next time grief strikes I will Face it! Deal with it! and Heal!!!
Lord, Bless all of us with the strength, courage and the wisdom :)