Straight outta a random daydream...

Almost four years of hostel life taught me a lot to swallow my anger....or so i thought...but a coupla days back at home and (oops...!!) the teen me resurfaces and so do my tantrums.. Once again after what feels like a long  long time i find myself on bed along with a puddle of tears from a fresh fight with Dad (Uhmm...over the TV :-/ )

Ugh!! No matter how much i try to grow up, the stubborn kid in me resurfaces...Yuck!! One moment i feel like a matured saint and the other i feel like an overgrown schoolkid!

Its amidst those teary bleary moments that i thought of this....


I really wanna be away from all this... Away from people i'm so touchy about, away from people who matter so much to me...(but yeah they should be available at the other end of the phone when i need them n viceversa)
                                            

I wanna be in a new city, where i've never lived-- all on my own! I wanna earn my own money, live in a (i dont mind rented) cute lil flat,which i will decorate with my personal touch and which i'll swear to keep  nice and clean. I wana go to work on my own, cook my own food,wash my dishes and clothes, learn the different ways to all the places in the city, Drive on my own through the streets,shop confidently in the malls all on my own, pick good vegetables and fruits from the sabjiwala, bargain at the street shops....All the while- never once feeling outta place!       

At the end of the day, I'll  take a hot steaming cup of coffee (which i made) to the balcony... watch the world move by and and feel glad that "Yes karthi! you did it!!! You can finally look after yourself!!" {If you guess this is borrowed from a not so old bollywood movie , you are right! Hey! Movies are made to inspire people!! ;) }


On a serious note, That's when I'll be ready for a new life ...That's when i'll be ready to look after a family...to really live the life i've been dreaming of ever since i was a little girl--just the way i had dreamt it to be....

Isn't this the right way to start for every girl..? But no! Our Indian society norms would NEVER allow this! The middle class Indian girl can only dream of all this, for as soon as she nearly gets a job or worse nearly finishes graduation, she becomes the mannequin in the marriage market. Aunties and Grandmas judge her by her colour, the length of her hair, her feet and hands, and even her teeth!! And on her wedding day, people click pictures and count the number of gold chains and bangles!!! (Yuck!!!!) I wonder why elders choose a life partner for their son based on how neatly her teeth have grown!!

Nevertheless...She's pushed into the scary unpredictable waters without warning and after the initial thrill of the plunge, she has to struggle, wriggle,twist and turn and learn the art of swimming... all on her own.When she finally learns the art she realises that after all...all the effort was for people around her..never once for herself!!! And before she musters up the courage to take control of her own life, her daughter is the new mannequin...and the vicious cycle continues....



Society wins again....

Dear Bro...Enjoy your earn n live on your own days...but mind you...You don't have the slightest idea how lucky you are and how Jealous I am...

 God bless all girls...

Moms are superwomen!!!

They are so dumb they don't know anything about my mum!!

My mum is a doctor-->
She predicts the doc's prescription even before he opens the pen's cap... 

My mum's a nurse-->
None of our ailings cure until we get her magical remedies..Right food with loads garlic and pepper and right sleep wrapped under her arms...all with truck loads of love..!!

My mum's a chef-->
She works in the kitchen like she has 10 hands and makes all sorts of cuisines...
South indian, North Indian, Chinese...

My mum's a finance manager...
If it wasn't for her careful saving, we would never have gone to the Andaman Islands or the hills of Gangtok...

My mum's an excellent receptionist...
If it wasn't for her warm welcome, my Dad wouldn't have had so many friends

My mum's a teacher...
If it wasn't for her,we shaitans would never had passed primary, nor would i have ever learnt to read time!

My mum's an amazing storyteller..
If it wasn't for her stories, the Don Bosco hospital room would have been so much more painful...

My mum's an event planner..
If it wasn't for her planning we wouldn't even have seen movies at the theatre or hosted birthday parties!

Well, my mum's a thousand mor wonderful things and so is yours...
So, next time  someone raises an eyebrow when you say that your mum's a  housewife...PuNCh ThEM oN ThEIr NOse!!! n say aloud that  MY MOM'S A SUPERWOMAN...A DIVINE CREATION!!

Who am I..?

I decided that i wouldn't be regionalistic...
That I'd consider myself as an Indian...
 So i sang Vande mataram with more pride than ente keralam
              But then i saw them singing jai karnataka...
              I saw even my teachers go out and about to support the growing regionalism in college
              I was heartbroken...
             So  nowadays i find myself staying more close to malayalees..(eeewww!!)

I decided that i'll not even have thoughts about casteism
But thanks to the "reservations" (of all kinds in all spheres)
For the college tour train ticket reservations, i had to go door to door and ask each of my classmates their caste!! (Yuck! i felt horrible!!!)

I decided that i wouldn't let my Dad buy me a seat for higher studies
That i'll get in, on my own merit, on my own efforts...
              But then i heard people talk coolly about buying seats as if it was normal
              Hey! Payment seats are legal!!!
              So after having a look at the entrance question papers,i wonder...
              Should i ask dad to buy me a seat too..?? (eeeeeeeeeeeeeww!!)


Yuck!! So this is how the big mean world takes out the sap from you,huh?
And this is how saints become dirty men...

I decided that i will be secular..

That i will not judge people by their religion...
I believed Ram and Isah to be One..
I even thought that i'd be fine even if i marry a guy from another religion..(!!ha ha!!)
So i went to temples and churches alike..even though i wasn't allowed the bread and wine..
But then i saw that they never came to temples...
And though i offered prasadam, they never ate it..
I felt sad...and my ego spoke...that now on i won't go to church as well..


One birthday morning, soon after returning from temple my pals asked me if i wanted to go to a cool African church...I thought and thought...
The Battle of Ego Vs Ideals took off in my head...
and since it was God's matter, i let the latter win over...

And so i went....
I sang jumped and danced to God...with people from so many parts of the world...
Different we were, but united by one thread of Faith..Just like He had intended this world to be

So when i sang "Because he lives...i can face tomorrow..." with my brothers and sisters..
I knew that i had made the right decision!!!

Lord, I pray  that in the battle of ego and ideals, may The Ideals ALWAYS win everywhere (even in me)...
So that your Kingdom (that includes me) may always stay pure...