Ugh!! No matter how much i try to grow up, the stubborn kid in me resurfaces...Yuck!! One moment i feel like a matured saint and the other i feel like an overgrown schoolkid!
Its amidst those teary bleary moments that i thought of this....
I really wanna be away from all this... Away from people i'm so touchy about, away from people who matter so much to me...(but yeah they should be available at the other end of the phone when i need them n viceversa)
I wanna be in a new city, where i've never lived-- all on my own! I wanna earn my own money, live in a (i dont mind rented) cute lil flat,which i will decorate with my personal touch and which i'll swear to keep nice and clean. I wana go to work on my own, cook my own food,wash my dishes and clothes, learn the different ways to all the places in the city, Drive on my own through the streets,shop confidently in the malls all on my own, pick good vegetables and fruits from the sabjiwala, bargain at the street shops....All the while- never once feeling outta place!
At the end of the day, I'll take a hot steaming cup of coffee (which i made) to the balcony... watch the world move by and and feel glad that "Yes karthi! you did it!!! You can finally look after yourself!!" {If you guess this is borrowed from a not so old bollywood movie , you are right! Hey! Movies are made to inspire people!! ;) }
On a serious note, That's when I'll be ready for a new life ...That's when i'll be ready to look after a family...to really live the life i've been dreaming of ever since i was a little girl--just the way i had dreamt it to be....
Isn't this the right way to start for every girl..? But no! Our Indian society norms would NEVER allow this! The middle class Indian girl can only dream of all this, for as soon as she nearly gets a job or worse nearly finishes graduation, she becomes the mannequin in the marriage market. Aunties and Grandmas judge her by her colour, the length of her hair, her feet and hands, and even her teeth!! And on her wedding day, people click pictures and count the number of gold chains and bangles!!! (Yuck!!!!) I wonder why elders choose a life partner for their son based on how neatly her teeth have grown!!
Nevertheless...She's pushed into the scary unpredictable waters without warning and after the initial thrill of the plunge, she has to struggle, wriggle,twist and turn and learn the art of swimming... all on her own.When she finally learns the art she realises that after all...all the effort was for people around her..never once for herself!!! And before she musters up the courage to take control of her own life, her daughter is the new mannequin...and the vicious cycle continues....
Society wins again....
Dear Bro...Enjoy your earn n live on your own days...but mind you...You don't have the slightest idea how lucky you are and how Jealous I am...
God bless all girls...
This post echoes my current state of mind. I m SICK of these NORMS society has "bestowed" upon us since ages and continues to do so.
ReplyDeleteLike any human, a woman has dreams (and individualistic ones) of her own and NO body has the right to sabotage them. The same society who worships Goddesses also points fingers at a woman who rebels and stands on her feet and does her own thing.
And finally Karthika, you should know, I miss those long talks and walks with you, those trips to your home and your unforgettable laughter. I miss you a lot. I need to talk to you asap.
Donn worry sis.. main hoon na.. will not let you get married until you've lived ur dream.. just don't be stupid and say yes to the first guy that mum makes you stand in front of.. :P :P
ReplyDelete@ Trish like always our thoughts match :D & i'm only a phone call away dear :)
ReplyDelete@ sashu mmmuah!!! :-*