The Generational Drama

Whenever we see a big family with people belonging to 3 or 4 generations living
together, our heart goes out to the most dependent ones; the most physically weaker ones.

Our heart goes out to that old grand mother who seems to forget if it is daytime or night. Our heart goes out to the baby who wails out for a desperate nappy change. Our heart goes out to the old one who had to chop her long braids off coz she no longer could take care of them with a painful hand. Our heart goes out to that once upon a time hard working career oriented old lady who can now barely take a step without a support. 

One barely feels if the seemingly well built adults who are capable of accomplishing any task that everyday life demands are in need of any empathy.

However, its only when one comes near enough and stays long enough that one gets to see a bigger picture. A picture that might shake off all the idealistic attitude we so far had. A picture that is very very different from what we had so far expected it to be. A picture that could literally make us question the age old Indian value system!!

My heart now goes out to the ones in the middle. The ones who are neither so old that they can retire from every responsibility possible under the roof;  nor are they so young that they can happily do what they please without any major responsibilities. The ones who are squashed and torn between the heartless, super cold tantrums of the old, the never ending demands of the middle and the innocent needs of the young. Especially to the middle aged women of the house who have to toil restlessly from even before sunrise to way past sunset- on a daily basis!!! Cooking just 3 meals a day seems to be a luxury in such homes as more the diversity of people in terms of age more are the specific demands. On any given time 2 or 3 kinds of meals need to cooked.  Then comes the other chores of cleaning up  and doing the dishes. Thanks to the misogynistic attitude they hardly receive a helping hand from the other gender. The men too I admit are constantly torn between their mothers, wives and kids. But as far as I can see, the work load is far too much on the fairer sex's side. Taking a day off or going out for a day costs a war at home, first to make sure everything needed is kept ready and in place for the old folk and next to bear the lashings and angry looks from the same faces that they served on returning home.

Most human beings forget all the physical pain of toiling all day and night if they are rewarded well. In this case even though the only reward one's heart yearns for are kind words of understanding and genuine good will and appreciation from those being looked after, very sadly and shockingly those are the very two things that nobody seems to spare for the care givers. All that they receive in return are complaints, back stabbing and  even more demands. No matter what they do, it just isn't enough, there is always more that could have been done.

They say be kind to all, speak kindly to all. But in a situation as above which human being will have the strength to sugar coat all their words after years of living such a miserable difficult life. I now say its a great deal to render so many responsibilities so well;  to be all sweet and mushy to everyone around along with such hard work...now that would require a real divine being's patience!!

Its very easy for people to visit once in a while and be nice and sweet to everyone but it takes a whole new level of strength and patience to stay and really look after everyone.

All these eye opening thoughts bring me back to the question of whether all this is worth anything at all? Expending all the health and strength that we have for ungrateful souls, what for? Good Karma? Will they ever have a life of their own again? A life of full health and good times? What do they have to look forward to?

But then again one thing is for sure. By their deeds, even if they couldn't earn the gratefulness or understanding or appreciation from the old souls, they sure have earned TRUCK LOADS of respect from the younger ones!! And perhaps the only positive outcome of all this is just that. Our parents' generation have not fallen in level in our own eyes. They have shown us through sheer perseverance that no matter what families just don't give up! Hopefully all this will inspire our generation to do the same. To care for each other no matter what and to never give up on anyone no matter how much ever not so lovable they become. For we have had good times too and thank God for those!

God bless all families!!!